Sadly it looks as if a third season of the daring, albeit patchy, Masters of Horror isn’t going to happen. This is a pity as the anthology format, particularly with the horror genre, is something of a lost art. Masters had that most rare of commodities: artistic freedom. Well, mostly.

The “masters” in question were given the instruction, “shoot it in 10 days and shoot it cheaply,” by show creator – and prolific contributor – Mick Garris. Beyond that mission statement they could do as they pleased.

Now, it has to be said Japanese director, and friend of Clawsome, Takashi Miike may disagree with this statement as his unflinchingly twisted entry Imprint wasn’t shown on the American Showtime network. But the UK, Australia and pretty much everywhere else in the world got to see it and it’s available on DVD uncut.

This is cold comfort to the normally mellow Miike who refused to return for the second season, sarcastically sniping, “Isn’t this supposed to be the land of the free?” regarding the U.S. broadcasting hypocrisy.

Controversy aside there were some really good entries, some very bizarre ones and, yes, a small number of rubbish eps. The Washingtonians, based on a short story by brilliant reclusive horror authour Bentley Little, and directed by Peter (The Changeling) Medak was turned into a silly joke with horrible acting and unconvincing gore.

Then again, it’s subjective. One man’s effective horror is another man’s derivative dross.

Picking the five best eps from both seasons was no easy feat. But after watching the entries again this is our top five:

#5 Dream Cruise

We’re probably going to cop it for including this and not Homecoming in the top five, but Dream Cruise, directed by Norio Tsuruta (The Ring 0: Birthday) is worthy. What starts off as a subtext laden, tense boat trip – with a husband and wife and the best friend who is sleeping with the her – soon turns into something else entirely. The acting isn’t great, the direction minimal so why does this make the top five? It’s fucking scary! This was an entry with no axe to grind, nothing to say about society - just some seriously eerie, tense and nasty horror. Wade through the first ten minutes and enjoy this cruise into relentless terror.

#4 Black Cat

When we first heard this was coming from Stuart (Re-Animator) Gordon and had, in the starring role, Jeffrey Combs as Edgar Allen Poe we thought: “Splattery gore fest with nudity aplenty!” However Gordon manages to reign it in and proposes a story that shows how Poe may have been influenced to write one of his most famously morbid missives: The Black Cat. Well acted, well made and constantly surprising, this feels like a feature and proves Combs can actually act without chewing the scenery. A favourite of many, this really brings the goods in a unique, and effective, way.

#3 Jenifer

Ahhh Dario Argento – you marvellous bastard, you. Both this and Pelts (his second season entry) have proved divisive for fans of the Italian giallo king. They both have themes of violent obsession and a boat load of gore and sex – but the superior Jenifer, about a weird, mutant girl who drives people to murderous insanity and sexual ecstasy – is just so out there you either go with it or don’t. We did and if you watch it knowing there will be no explanation, no meaning and lots of killing – you’ll likely enjoy it. It’s just nice to see Argento direct with a bit of passion again. This is a good antidote for watching The Mother of Tears. Damn, that sucked! My apologies, Dario, but dude – ouch.

#2 Cigarette Burns

Anything that gets John Carpenter (Halloween, Escape from New York, The Thing and so on…) back in the director’s chair is okay by us. Pro-Life (his second season entry) was enjoyable enough in a trashy monster movie kind of way, but it was Cigarette Burns that really made people pay attention. Burns is one of Carpenter’s darkest flicks, filled with a nihilism not seen since The Thing. The story, about a film so horrifying it drives all who watch it insane, is compelling and the execution impeccable. We might not get another feature out of J.C., but at least we have this.

#1 Imprint

Yes, the one that got banned in the States is the best of both seasons by, well, quite a large margin frankly. Takashi Miike takes the paltry budget and knocks out a beautiful film that is bizarre, twisted and at times sickening. Brimming with torture, mutilation and a rather unique deformity the Japanese director quietly told us this was a, “favourite example of [his] work.” We can’t help but agree.

Side Bar: Imprint isn’t actually on any of the MOH boxsets which is both disrespectful to the mighty Miike and kind of lame. That said, it can be picked up fairly cheaply.

Notable Mentions: John Landis’ Deer Woman and Joe Dante’s Homecoming could easily be in this top five. It’s just that their entries don’t really stand up to multiple viewings. However horror fans should consider them mandatory viewing.

Thanks should go to Mick Garris for starting this crazy ride. And who knows, if DVD sales are high we may see a Family Guy style TV show resurrection.

Stranger things have happened.