I’m pretty old. I’m old enough to remember video cassettes (look it up on wikipedia, kids). I can still recall going to the “video shop” and seeing, you know, VIDEOS.

I spent a lot of my late teens and early 20’s working in pretty much every video shop in Sydney… (see Angst for more) at least the ones that didn’t require you to wear a uniform which in 1995(ish) was still quite a few.

But I digress.

Sometimes I like to kick back and remember the smell of trashy R-rated horror/action and erotic thriller (or “stabby/titty“) movies in the 80’s.

It was a strong, possibly cancer-causing smell.

Side bar: For our international readers, Australian R-ratings are the equivalent of NC-17. Or “X” before that.

Readers’ Voice: Wow, Ant, you’re bringing people together with knowledge.

Shut up, Readers’ Voice, you’re just a literary affectation.

Readers’ Voice: The magic has gone, hasn’t it?

SO BACK TO THE PLASTIC:

It’s like they’d used the cheapest plastic… but there was a promise. “We will show you more,” the video cases proclaimed, “We will show you what is forbidden of others… tits? Oh, yes. Full nuddie? Perhaps. People getting fucked up and made dead in creative ways? Almost certainly! Smell me, you large-headed, wan child, SNIFF MY PLASTIC PROMISE!”

And I would, readers, like junkie on ‘Free Smack Friday’ I would drink deep and hear the cases…

“We are all!” said A Nightmare on Elm Street, “We are mighty!” The Lamp (a really horrible horror flick, but an awesome and massive plastic case, topped only by the Fright Night 2 coffin-shaped edition)

fright Night 2 coffin case

“We are Australian R-Rated 18-plus movies.” Was the call to action.

“Some of us are banned in Queensland.” Romero’s Day of the Dead and Raimi’s The Evil Dead said saucily, “Strap in, son!”

Side bar: check here for more on Raimi’s mighty trilogy.

“Of course more often than not you ended up with, like, The Wraith but still… to be young and to seek out those films… now you just go online and “buy” them [chuckle] or just download them.

Bunch of thieving young ne’er-do-wells.